KAIFI AZMI....

THE WORLD I SEEK I CAN NOT FIND

A NEW EARTH, A NEW SKY I CANNOT FIND.

A NEW EARTH, A NEW SKY EVEN IF I FIND

NO TRACE OF A NEW MAN CAN I FIND.

I HAVE FOUND THE SWORD THAT WAS USED TO KILL ME

NO ONE'S FINGERPRINT  ON IT CAN I FIND.

THAT IS MY VILLAGE, THOSE MY VILLAGE HEARTHS

LET ALONE THE EMBES, SMOKE I CANNOT FIND.

IT IS NOT A GREAT CALAMITY, IF GOD CAN NOT BE FOUND

A TRACE OF MY OWN FINGERPRINTS  I CANNOT FIND.

FOR AN ETERNITY I HAVE  STOOD HERE AMONG THE CROWD

NOT A TRACE OF YOUR FACE CAN I FIND.......

( A  MASTERPIECE BY ' KAIFI AZMI'  A RENOWNED POET  TRANSLATED IN ENGLISH BY PAWAN K.  VERMA)

O MY LIFE.

O MY LIFE!  I ALWAYS LOVE YOU!

THROUGH MY EVERY BREATH ,

I ALWAYS KISS YOU

THIS WORLD WILL NEVER KNOW-

THE ETERNAL ROMANCE BETWEEN US.

IF IT WERE-

IT WOULD'NT  HAVE DESERTED YOU.

HOW FAR  WILL YOU GO WITH ME-

ALAS! I COULD KNOW.

 BUT UNTIL THEN, I CAN ONLY LOVE YOU.

ONE DAY WHEN-

A 'FINAL GOODBYE' WILL  BE A FACT  BETWEEN US.

'A SONG OF JOY' , I WILL EVER SING FOR YOU

. O MY LIFE!  I ALWAYS LOVE YOU!

THROUGH MY EVERY BREATH ,

I ALWAYS KISS YOU

.....BELIEVE.........

SOMETIMES I MISS YOU 

SOMETIMES I DONT.

BUT WHEN IT  HAPPENS 

I JUST WANDER ALONE..

THOUGH YOU DON'T

GO THROUGH THE SAME.

ALAS! YOU COULD IMAGINE 

THE GREAT SILENCE OF A VERY KNOWN..

YES THEY  PREVAILS-

SOME CHERISHED MOMENTS WITH YOU 

 HERE,RIGHT IN MY HEART.

NOW I  WONDER, WHERE HAVE THEY  GONE?.

THIS WORLD HAS TAKEN -

A WILD TURN FOR ME

BUT YOU WILL NEVER...

 MY ONLY BELIEVE FROM DUSK TO DAWN.

SOMETIMES I MISS YOU 

SOMETIMES I DONT.

BUT WHEN IT  HAPPENS 

I  JUST WANDER ALONE..

NOWDAYS........

NOWDAYS,  SOME HOT WINDS ARE GOING DOWN.

NOWDAYS, SOMEONE’S FACE IS STILL IN THE CROWD.

NOWDAYS  SOMEONE THINKS, THAT WHY IT HAPPENED?

A LOVABLE FACE IS STRANGER NOW.

NOWDAYS AS ALWAYS- LIFE IS ON;

BUT FOR WHOM ?  A QUESTION HAS’NT GONE.

NOWDAYS  SOMEONE SAYS THAT HE IS HAPPY-

IS HE REALLY? THOSE MISTY- EYES NEVER SHOWN.

  NOWDAYS, A ‘CHERISHED TIME’ SEEMS GONE TOO SOON.

AS IF A FLOWER , JUST WITHOUT ANY BOON.

NOWDAYS, THIS WORLD SEEMS CLOSER TO SOMEONE-

EXCEPT A WORLD , THAT IS  FAR ON EVERY AFTER NOON. 


NOWDAYS, SOMEONE’S DREAM  ARE FIGHTING VERY HARD.

    WITH A  REALITY,  ALWAYS HARD TO DISCARD.

   NOWDAYS, A FEW SHARED MOMENTS  HAVE LOST IN  BLACKHOLE.

      DOES IT MATTER , WHICH ONE IS SUN  AND WHICH ONE IS STAR???              

.MY NOCTURNAL DESIRE

EVERY SINGLE NIGHT,

IN A VERY DARK SIGHT;

WHENEVER A ‘SILVER MOON LIGHT’-

 FALLS  UPON  MY DARK  AND

 ‘NOCTURNAL  DESIRE’-

 IT AWAKES IN A SMALL HOPE –

THAT  TONIGHT  IT WILL -

DANCE TOGETHER  -

WITH ITS SOULMATE- ‘THE SILVER MOON LIGHT’-

 IN THE GARDEN OF SILENT MUSIC  OF LOVE

 JUST TO  REJOICE FOREVER..

BUT THE DEVIL  DARK 'CLOUDS OF SEPARATION'

WATCH OVER THEM .

 TO KIDNAP THEIR- ‘ONE  ETERNAL LOVE’.

POOR, O DEVIL! 

UNKNOWN OF  ITS SHORT SPAN OF TIME ..

 MY NOCTURNAL DESIRES-

  KNOWS IT  VERY SILENTLY.

 AND ALWAYS UNMOVED  FROM ITS FAITH

 BELIEVES IT DEATHLESSLY THAT-

TONIGHT IT WILL FULFILL ITSELF,

IN THE LOVING ARM OF  ITS SOULMATE-

ONE AND ONLY-

 “THE  SILVER MOON LIGHT”.

EVERY SINGLE NIGHT,

IN A VERY DARK SIGHT;

WHENEVER A ‘SILVER MOON LIGHT’-

 FALLS  UPON  MY DARK  AND

 ‘NOCTURNAL  DESIRE’-

.BUT WHEN..

JOY DOES COME ,

AND SORROW  DOES GO..

BUT WHEN ?

I ALWAYS WATCH IT-

THROUGH THE WINDOW OF MY LIFE,

KEEPING ‘ONE & ONLY’ FAITH THAT-

THE WINDOW WILL NOT CLOSE TONIGHT.

ALL OF A SUDDEN-

CLOUDS OF FEELINGS JUST GOES HEAVIER.

BUT WHY?

I ALWAYS THINK-

THROUGH SOME DRIZZELES FROM MY EYES.

KEEPING ‘ONE & ONLY’ HOPE THAT-

THEY WILL NOT LOSE A DESIRE WHEN THEY CLOSE.

MY ‘TEARS & SORROW’ ALWAYS DANCE WITH HER,

AND  MY’ SMILE & PLEASURE’ JUST WITHOUT HER.

 BUT WHY?

I ALWAYS FEEL IT-

THROUGH   A ‘VIOLENT SILENCE’ IN MY LIFE.

KEEPING ONE SIMPLE DESIRE THAT –

MY ‘TEARS & SMILE’ WILL DANCE TOGETHER,

WHEN SHE WILL HOLD MY HAND.

BUT WHEN?

I ALWAYS WAIT FOR IT………

JUST WAIT FOR IT.....

YOU ARE ALWAYS THERE............

IN MY  LIVING DREAMS ,

YOU ARE ALWAYS  HERE.

BECAUSE  SOMEWHERE IN A DESERT ,

 A LOVELY RAIN IS ALWAYS THERE.

THOUGH  YOUR SPECIAL  WORDS,

  ARE NOW FOR OTHER.

BUT IN MY  TIMELESS SAGA –

YOUR MELODY  IS ALWAYS THERE.

 YES, YOU DO  BELIEVE THAT-

MY WORLD IS SO DARK,

BUT ITS  JUST BECAUSE –

YOUR GLARE IS NOT THERE.

 ALL MY WORDS  ARE   COVERING,

A BEAUTIFUL  LONG  JOURNEY.

  IT MAY BE  JUST BECAUSE-

A HOPE OF MAKING YOU MINE  IS ALWAYS THERE.

IN MY LIVING DREAMS ,

 YOU ARE ALWAYS HERE.

BECAUSE SOMEWHERE IN A DESERT,

A LOVELY RAIN IS ALWAYS THERE.

STRUGGLE -AN UNWANTING BOON

It is well established belief  that  life  comprises of  quantum  of  small and big struggles. And in the  backdrop  of these  various  challenges,  we face them  quite  internally &  externally.  More clearly,  at one time, we  have to lead the front against our own massively damaged  self-reliance  in order to regain & retain the lost ground. While on the other , we actually struggle or  more precisely,  we fight against  quite visible oddities gifted by  our  thunderously massive  opponents.

By & large, we take the charge against our struggle  with all our  varying potential in every walk of  life. Well! To keep away  just superficial  talks , lets  plumb into some real-time  examples , not too far  from our time  but   some contemporary ones, which will  ensure us that  it takes just a small effort to conjure up some extraordinary stories out of our struggles , if we mean it.

Its not too  late, to discuss a cricket league match  of  world cup-2011, Ireland v/s  England. In  that match  Ireland beat England , which was not more than an unforeseen  result  for  most of  the people. But what if , we  try to see the collective effort against one kind of struggle ( a sporting struggle) by Irish,  to derive a monumental victory for  themselves who were  far behind to catch all this.

There were three stages for the chasing party – first when they suffered a 'collateral damage'  inflicted by  the bowling attack, second :- when they were leading by their protagonist ( batsman)  Neil- O-  Brian,, who  consolidated the confidence to chase the target. And third when they kept their nerves  calm , which executed  rest of the task. Now if we go parallel with these three stages , then we will find that we often face these stages in  our life,  in different faces –in different cases. First some initial setbacks  followed by some comebacks, followed by the final  execution ( whatever it may be).

Ironically, we don’t face the  problem  and struggle  in the same fashion. Life gives us n numbers of patterns to struggle  against our problems. And this world is overwhelmed with such unique examples  which spells out  that sometimes,  struggle  becomes  internal  phenomena , which can be dealt with  utmost grace.

The story of Deniela Gracia  from Chile specifies the same , who  had encountered   with a lethal  & heart rendering rail accident ,which  inflicted her body  severely & left her  both pair of hands & legs amputed. There  wasn’t  even an  iota of chance to bring her back in normal life. In this situation she had two clear options , either  to allow herself, to be governed by a downtrodden soul  or to lead her life with ample grit and sheer character. And  finally, inspiring by her great struggle,  she chose the later one and became world’s first quadrilateral amputee physician.  She is now the author of best selling book-“eligi-vivir”( I chose to live).She is just the single hero among the zillions, who have fought a crusade in all their life just to win a  struggle internally.

No matter whether we win our struggle  externally for professional  achievements or internally to  become an inspiration to our own soul  and for other , all it does matter that life becomes what we do with it   after  realizing the nature of struggle  against a problem.

EUTHANASIA-MAY BE MAY NOT BE

            If  one can visualize oneself mired in a pathetic condition, in which neither one can move one’s body parts nor can even utter a single word of need, then undoubtedly , one can easily assume that how traumatic and painstaking it would have been for aruna shan bagh for last thirty years. Her case recently pushed up to the  centre stage , when a plea for passive euthanasia was filed in apex court, which was turned down ,considering the future ramifications once it becomes a law.

Well!  This  fragile and sensitive subject goes beyond  any religious, social, legal aspect because when it comes to the issues like-“euthanasia”, it directly picturize a person who suffers   from a terminal disease deathlessly , which unfortunately, has no cure and hope for a normal life and who may or may not  put his words on the table of discussion- what  is his/her, ultimate desire?

Though apex court has starkly denied all possibility of euthanasia, but around the globe , some countries finds it quite legal to become a law –what netherland did in -2002. Despite  of it, global majority considers it unethical to reward somebody with mercy killing.

The worst  use of euthanasia was seen in 1939, by Hitler in nazi germany when he allowed mercy killing of sick & disabled, which was later extended to newborns & older disabled. That time euthanasia had become an instrument of inhumane actions , in Nazi germany.

Since then, ranging from most developed  to developing countries – euthanasia  is considered as devil’s act-as we don’t have any authority to take lives of any individual, but ironically  capital punishment, doesn’t considered with same perception, I which life of  an individual is taken on account of some offence. Moreover, in some sections of Indian society, like-every single day through the year , a jain  somewhere in the country embrace “santhara”, which resembles to an act of euthanasia.or in other words –a n act of suicide,(which is an offence in IPC-309 of Indian constitution till date) . these are the exceptions draped in religious act prevails in various sections of other religions as wall.

Unfortunately the ripples of  issues like euthanasia will setle down in near future but unfortunately the timeless suffering of  aruna shanbagh and many more like her, will never.

Supreme court upholds its humane and path-breaking  verdict by quoting a couplet from mirza ghalib-“marte hein aarzoo mein marne ki;maut aati hai par nahin aati.(one longs to embrace death but death is such that it comes & yet eludes).

WHEN YOU..............

WHEN YOU FEEL  DARKNESS OF NIGHT;

& WHEN YOU FIND  -

 YOUR TIME  HARSH & NOT RIGHT.

I WANT YOU-
 TO REMEMBER ME , JUST FOR ONCE,

COZ  ONCE YOU  LOVED ME-

ON EVERY BLIND
TURN………………………….

WHEN YOUR  SILENCE ,SEEMS FEEL ALONE-

&  YOUR  SMILE-

FEELS DESERTED AND BEMOAN

I WANT YOU-
 TO REMEMBER  ME,  JUST FOR ONCE

COZ  YOU STOOD BY ME-

WHEN MY PLEASURES GOT BURNT……………………




……….....continued......

ITS JUST A DO DUNI CHAAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Few  days ago I received  a chance to watch a movie –“Do duni char”.  And  without any exception, I found it entirely fascinating, which underlies some thought provoking  issues &  few messages too . Story  rolls around  a very ordinary life of a  middle class family, led by a  school teacher, who  some how or the other  try to  manage  daily & semi-luxury life for  his family,what our showy Indian middle class society find it necessary,  which is actually not.

 

Well ! the whole idea behind this article is  definitely not the another  lacklusture analysis  of this movie,  but rather to refresh our mind & heart to think about  those people who  are apparently nothing to do with our daily life & benefits.  But  without those we could’nt conceive our today’s sophisticated  &  value driven life.

Without  going back too  deep  into our  past memories, let us  answer this  question  faithfully, that how many times  have we remembered our  school teachers without catagorising them as favourite & non-favorite?. How many times   have we forced ourselves to think about their today’s economical & social life?.  Answers of these questions do not worth  anymore ,but  rather they are just to compel us to think over, what it matters  for us as an individual & as society. Above  are few of  those  many questions which  remains unanswered  intentionally-unintentionally by us. So as per our  choice,  nouns of   these questions can be replaced  by  any  other one which  has silently & progressively  carved  our  life .

 

A teacher has been  personified as  “guru” in Indian mythology & revered by all sections of society. but in this “quantum of respect” given to him, we forgot  that a teacher too, has  his own social life ,he too has to bring up his family like any one else. How tragic it is that the one who always try to put his  student  ahead of the curve in their life, fails to put his own children on the same curve in every dimension, just because of lack of some vital resources .  Exceptions  can never be the instrument to iron out the issues like this. With the progression of  Indian society socially, economically ,the life of a teacher has only seen endless regression,which  seems fail to end in near future.

   

Statistics might be good enough  to make this topic  more meaningful & radiant  but  all intention was just to give a snapshot of  those issues which are surviving in obscurity. “Doduni char” reflects all  the dimensions  of  a family which resort to  a  very sacred profession for its  bread & butter, & compels us to contemplate  over the inordinate rationality of our life. 

 

TELL ME O BEAUTY

TELL ME O BEAUTY!! 

WITH YOUR LUNAR CHARM , 

YOU ALWAYS FASCINATED ME.

 BUT WHERE ARE YOU,IN THIS SEPARATION OF DARK?

TELL ME O BEAUTY!

IN YOUR ENIGMATIC EYES,

YOU ALWAYS ARRESTED ME.

BUT WHY DID YOU FREE ME ?

TELL ME O BEAUTY!

WE WERE PLAYING HIDE-AND-SEEK,

IN THE ‘JUNGLE -OF-LOVE’.

BUT WHERE DID YOU GO ALL OF A SUDDEN?

TELL ME O BEAUTY!

YOU WERE, THE  ONLY SEVEN COLORS OF MY LIFE,

I OFTEN USED TO TELL YOU.

BUT WHY DID THEY FADE AWAY?

TELL ME O BEAUTY!

THE LAST DAYS

 

   
!!THE LAST DAYS!!

  The word ‘last’ Sounds quite poignant yet  fascinating , especially when it is used as a prefix to some special words, which seems to be a chain of event, to which every one feels connected & bonded .However,  despite of its gloomy nature, the word ‘last’ has lightened up those moments which were lived by 54 students of a class and being as part of those 54 souls,  I can say  with  firm conviction that this ‘last’ isn't last in itself .Somewhere,  it contains seeds of a tree which will  grow with its endless branches of new relationships, some of them will be common & some will be individual.

For the past few months i have been seeing & feeling something left & right of this enigmatic word ‘last’. Now to make it sound meaningful I must share streak of events which will weave some glorious memories for us in future. 

 It was the beginning of 8^th semester of our engineering  when the magic of ‘last’ was about to prevail among all of us. So the classes were started with an untold acknowledgement -“finally this is the last one!”. The days were passing & time too. We were attending the classes more for fun & less for studies. All it could not happen without the smiling support of our special faculty, who were inflated by HOD deptt, everyday & with the same dedication deflated by us as they enters into our classroom. We were not only connected with our faculty by sms or phones but also by networking sites which is still on. Now one can assume that how it could have been possible to maintain the same decorum in class & decency with our ‘friend- faculty’ then. All it was happening spontaneously in the backdrop of that magical angelic word ‘last’.

Though the air of ‘last’ was blowing in final year classes but it was a hurricane which was roaring in our class.  Amid all of this, a gentle breeze of nice change was blowing too. We have had advanced from just knowing the name of our classmate sitting next to us to maintain some dialogues at least once or twice a day .The wall of hesitation & childish ego between boys & girls was  declining in 7^th semester & as expected it had finally disappeared in 8^th  semester. This resulted into a built of new understanding which was direly needed to create & maintain the ever cherished memories of a class, which lived for three years collectively.

As I said in the beginning that the word ‘last’ has  unbound potential & magic to turn an ordinary event into a memorable one. So how it could have been deprived of being used by crazy students of our class. In a broad view, every event & function during our last year was entitled as ‘the last’. For instance,’ the last college fest, ‘the last annual function’ (well! We saw it first time ever happening in four years) ‘the last semester’ (obviously) ‘the last exams’ blah! blah!. So all this was quite understandable but the limit of craziness had been crossed when we didn't even spare the months, seasons, festivals & moreover the birthdays to engage with ‘last’. One could hear those special words yelled or murmured by my emotion driven fellows during odd hours of classes such as-‘my last winter of engineering’, ‘my last diwali of engineering’, ‘ my last January of engineering’, ‘my last birthday in engineering’. Apparently all it may sound quite hilarious & crazy but way beyond this, knowingly or unknowingly we were trying to reveal the true colors of a very common bond with our class for the first & last time .

It was beyond my wildest dream that this ‘last’ could have this much charisma which turned the things around & unified those strange faces into a single one which was hidden somewhere in all of us.

It was almost end of the semester & we were partially free from all do’s & don’ts of college. In other words, last semester was academically ended & we were ready for our ‘last’ university exams. But the million dollar question was this whether were we ready for exams or not?. Instantly, I would say ‘no’. But this ‘no’ was not tagged with the girls as they were ready again without that much hardship which was being faced by boys. Neither were they mentally  prepared nor equipped with the hard copies of materials for exams. It was unforgettable time when all boys (including me) were running here & there for each single copy of material. All it was not less than a war.

This 8^th semester exams were turning out to be the 8^th world war in which our lives were severely at stake & we were trying to confront with our enemy(exams) without weapons (studies) .But some how or the other, the entire class managed to sail through these horrendous moments & exams, as I did not see any doleful face coming out from examination hall.

 The final semester exams were over & we still had one month in college for major project which was turned into a ‘fun project’ by us. Meanwhile we had a party in a resort located in the outskirts of city, in which I believe  we got the ‘gist’ of all four years. It was the first time ever when we got together unofficially & thrilled entirely. That night we all shared some bit of our truth & lies with our friends. It was a  moving moment for all of us as we were listening an unheard silence from each other which was remained unheard in the clamor of everyday hitches.

Finally, we were free from books ,syllabus &  not bounded to come to college everyday but surprisingly, all we were yearning to  come to college despite of scorching heat  of summer, just to attend a class which was no more in existence but virtually was on.  It was a class of mutual understanding & openness, which was giving new shine to the very common bond among all those who were remained unknown from each other yet. 

Since all it happens with every graduate, one may find this article just another superficial or merely a lackluster description of college days. I admit that there is nothing new in the story or in words but these are the days which were lived by your father /mother someday in their college time in a different way, which became an integral part of their life, probably not shared with us. These are the days which we have lived just a while ago. These will be the days which will be lived by our son /daughter someday in future. Definitely the story is same & old but it becomes unique & new when lived by an individual. I am sure that one day sitting in an armchair, inspired by our last days in college we will ask from our newly  graduate son/daughter, “So how was your ‘last’ day in college?” & evoking those memorable time we will be murmuring alone, “those were the ‘last’ days, passed very soon!”……………………………

 

SAS:-